


Not a Shovel Talk

by youbuggme



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Shovel Talk, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, this sucks and im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 20:37:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11112402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youbuggme/pseuds/youbuggme
Summary: Margaery and Sansa are now dating and it is time for the customary Stark Sibling Shovel Talks. Margaery isn'tthatworried.





	Not a Shovel Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous: Sansa/Margaery prompt - Margaery gets shovel talks from the Starks (including Jon, maybe Theon too?)
> 
> I got this prompt almost 1 year ago and have been struggling to answer it properly. I am still not 100% happy with what I've written but at this point, I just needed to write S O M E T H I N G. So, enjoy hopefully? (Sorry prompter if you are still around.

**Bran**

“So,” Bran prompted, eyeing the woman in front of him skeptically. “You and my sister are…dating, correct?”

Margaery nodded her head slowly, not daring to break eye contact knowing the exact direction this conversation would be going. “I am.”

“Are you prepared?” Bran asked, cocking his head to the side as if to inspect her for any weakness. She straightened her shoulders accordingly.

Margaery carefully raised one eyebrow in questioning. “Elaborate.”

Bran smiled but it wasn’t kind, more…pitying. “You don’t think you are being cleared of shovel talks just because you’ve been Sansa’s friend for a few years, do you?”

“Is this what this is?” Margaery smiled ruefully, looking around the bedroom of Bran Stark that she had been half dragged into by the owner.

“Oh, no,” Bran shook his head quickly, waving her off. Margaery narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “This isn’t a shovel talk. This is a warning.”

“Aren’t the two the same?” Margaery mused.

“This isn’t a warning for dating Sansa, this is a warning about the _others_ ,” Bran leaned in carefully, all the while maintaining eye contact. “They won’t go easy on you because you’re a girl, if that’s what you think.”

Margaery held back her chuckle. She had dealt with far worse things than the Stark clan before. They didn’t scare her. “I don’t expect them to go easy on me.”

“Good,” Bran nodded his head but he didn’t look convinced. “They have rather…unusual ways of getting their points across. Not because they are creative,” Bran added, “more because they are all just…rather enthusiastic.”

Again, Margaery shrugged it off. Whatever the Starks had in store for her it would without a doubt be nothing compared to what Olenna put Renly through when Loras brought him home and that was even before Garlan and Willas had a chance to get their point across. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from your family.” Margaery quickly added, “I mean that in the kindest of ways.”

Bran smiled genuinely and he clapped his hands together. “Excellent! I imagine Robb will be first. He feels particularly…motivated this time around, but I’m sure you can handle him.”

This time a small chuckle did escape Margaery’s lips. Oh, she couldn’t really imagine anger on Robb Stark’s face. Not with how he smiles so brightly at his boyfriend and everyone thinks of his as a perfect angel.

“I suppose I’ll have to manage,” Margaery finally said. “May I ask why there is no shovel talk from you?”

Bran smirked, his nose wrinkling in the action. “Why bother? You should have enough wit to know not to screw up, so you should be fine. Besides, after the conversation we all had last night, I’m sure the others will be able to manage on their own. I mean, if the first four shovel talks don’t work, what is the use of a fifth at that point?”

Margaery nodded her head in agreement, although she had to admit, despite Bran’s claim that this discussion of theirs was _not_ a shovel talk. It was feeling an awful lot like one.

* * *

**Robb (+Theon)**

Not even two hours after leaving Bran Stark’s room, Margaery was whisked away to the backyard by the oldest of the Starks and his kraken-enthusiast boyfriend. Sansa only watched in dismay, although half of her attention was being diverted by the youngest of Starks who was surely in on the scheme. _Nicely played,_ Margaery silently commended them.

“So,” Robb led Margaery around the backyard, his arm comfortingly around her shoulder while Theon Greyjoy stalked beside him, watching with a blank expression. Again, Margaery smiled at their tactics. She might say she was even a little disappointed. Good cop, bad cop was such a cliché, after all.

“So,” Margaery copied.

“Oh, just get it over with,” Theon grumbled under his breath, elbowing Robb in the side who elbowed him back with a look of _‘let me do my thing!’_

“Fine,” Robb sighed, releasing Margaery as they came to stand in the far corner of their massive backyard, furthest away from civilization. “Has anyone talked to you yet?”

“Just Bran,” Margaery admitted truthfully.

“Right, well, despite what he might say, this is not a shovel talk,” Robb eyed her seriously. “I’m not coming here with threats of death.”

“Death is too easy,” Theon commented lightly and Margaery was suddenly thinking of Theon’s sister who screamed _I’ve-killed-at-least-six-people-this-week_ vibes.  Margaery eyes widened slightly as Robb smiled grimly. _Well, this is different_.

“So, what kind of threats am I getting?”

“I’m a strong believer in an eye for an eye,” Robb mentioned off handedly, all the while looking candid, as if they were talking about something dull. “That being said, you hurt one of ours, we hurt one of yours.”

“We fucked up last time,” Theon continued from where his boyfriend left off, “we can admit that.” Both of them looked particularly pissed. “We let Joffrey slip through our fingers and gave him the benefit of the doubt because of political, family friend bullshit.”

“Exactly,” Robb hissed. “So this time, we are covering our tracks. Let’s be clear here Margaery, family is important to both of us and we just want to keep them safe.”

“You fuck with Sansa, we’ll fuck with you and those you love,” Theon smirked darkly. “We’ve got… _connections_.” Ah, yup, she guessed correctly with Theon’s murderous sister.

Margaery nodded her head slowly, awed by their bold choice of tactic but still not scared because, “I have no plans of hurting Sansa.”

“We should hope,” Robb sighed before smiling brightly. “Now that that is out of the way,” he nudged Theon to smile who was still glaring, “we actually wanted to know if you’d like to come on a double date with us.”

Theon groaned loudly but Margaery couldn’t help giggle. “Oh, I’d love that.” If only to solidify her stance of she was serious about Sansa and wasn’t going to hurt her in any way, but also to make Theon squirm.

“Excellent,” Robb clapped her on the shoulder and grabbed Theon’s hand, leading them back toward the house. “Oh, and before I forget, Jon wants to take you out for coffee tomorrow.”

Theon snorted, “Honestly, I wouldn’t be that freaked out by him. Snow is going to be a piece of cake. _Trust_ me.”

Margaery was about to agree with that but then she was suddenly brought back to the memory of a year ago when Theon and Robb first started dating and for the first time in Theon’s life, Margaery had seen him fearful of Jon. Of course, that has now passed, but she couldn’t help think the two were related and suddenly, Jon’s coffee date seemed a bit more ominous.

Especially with Bran’s warning humming in the background.

* * *

**Jon**

“Thank you for meeting with me,” Jon said as Margaery sat down. Before him was a small black coffee and nothing else. His arms were crossed on the table in a position of power, however he was still calm and relaxed not to be overbearing. He could assert dominance if he needed to but he wanted to remain calm. Margaery mimicked the position to show that she wasn’t going to buckle under just any threats.

“No problem,” Margaery smiled as sweetly as she could. “I imagine this is about Sansa and me?” No need to dance around the bush. Jon was a no nonsense type anyway.

“Yes,” Jon nodded. “I think you two are good for each other.”

It was not what she was expecting but okay… “Thank you,” Margaery nodded graciously. “It means a lot to hear that from you.”

Jon didn’t smile or give any other indication of approval. “You know Ygritte?”

Yes, she did.  “You’re girlfriend?” Margaery cocked her head in confusion.

“She has a hunting cabin up north, way out in the middle of nowhere,” Jon said conversationally, taking a sip of his coffee. “Really secluded and hard to get to. Hard to get out of.”

Margaery kept her smile strong. “I see.”

“No,” Jon smiled for the first time (maybe ever? If Margaery was thinking correctly). “You see,” Jon leaned forward, “underneath the cabin is a bunker. Walls six feet thick and reinforced with steel.”

Margaery blinked. “That seems excessive.”

“Perhaps, if you don’t know how to use it.” Jon sighed tired. “I thought I’d let you know about it. Just in case.” The threat didn’t need to be stated any further.

“I suppose you are going to add in Ygritte’s archery skills?” Margaery added, to show she wasn’t scared of Jon and his unstated threats.

Jon shook his head with a slight smirk. “No, I don’t need her archery skills. My skills is just fine.”

And thus, Margaery remember Sansa telling her that Jon, Robb, and Arya had all taken fencing classes for _years_. The only difference between a lance for fence and a lance for killing was the sharpness of the blade.

“Have we reached an understanding?” Jon asked.

“I hope so.”

“Great,” Jon nodded. “We are taking extra precautions to make sure we don’t have another Joffrey situation.”

“I have no plans for that,” Margaery said, before adding, “I really do love her.”

“Good,” Jon finished his coffee and stood up. “I think we are done here. I don’t want to-”

“Be invited to a double date?” Margaery finished brightly, standing up as well. “I’m afraid you are too late. Ygritte already called. See you, Sunday.”

* * *

**Rickon**

“You aren’t allowed to date Sansa,” Rickon crossed his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed.

“I see,” Margaery looked around the Stark living room to find that it had been cleared out for this specific occasion. Great. “And why not?”

“You haven’t earned it,” Rickon glared. He was getting older now, but it was hard for Margaery to see him as anything other than a six year old kid, let alone thirteen.

“What do I have to do to earn it?” Margaery was willing to play along if it meant getting past another barrier of Starks for the ultimate approval. She only had two more to go.

“Fight me.”

Margaery snapped her head down to the youngest Stark. “Excuse me?”

“Just like in Sansa’s stupid stories. You gotta fight me for her.”

Margaery had seen the determined look in Rickon’s eyes a thousand times in Sansa’s and knew arguing would get her next to nowhere.

“And there is no other way around this?” Margaery asked carefully. She knew the Starks liked to rough house and she did not wanting to go home with a bruise from a thirteen-year-old’s punch.

“Nope,” Rickon smirked and something snapped in Margaery’s head. The kid wasn’t looking for a fight. He _knew_ Margaery wasn’t going to and thought that since the ultimatum was to fight or leave that Margaery would reasonably chose to leave. Well shit. She had to give the kid some props for that one, no matter how convoluted the logic was.

“What if I keep dating Sansa anyway?”

“I’ll fight you,” Rickon said boldly, like someone who never fought with wits against someone nearly ten years older.

“Go ahead.” Margaery let her arms drop to her side, only half certain Rickon wouldn’t actually throw a punch. “Fight me then.”

Rickon stared at Margaery for a long minute, eyes narrowed into a glare. But as soon as that minute ended, Rickon’s expression shattered into a sly grin. “Maybe you aren’t so bad.”

* * *

**Arya**

If there was one Stark Margaery was actually worried about, it was Arya. While Arya and Sansa might not have the kindest sisterhood, Margaery knew they would die for the other. Or kill, especially in Arya’s case.

Margaery was waiting, preparing, and most of all, trying to think how Arya was going to go about this. She had a wicked mind and Margaery was almost afraid of what the younger girl would come up with.

When the day came and Arya called Margaery into the kitchen, Margaery’s first step was seeing where all the knives were. She didn’t reasonably think Arya was going to cut her…but then again, she wasn’t exactly too sure on the issue.

However, Arya was just sitting at the counter, a piece of paper in hand and a pen. No knife that Margaery could see, or any other dangerous weapon for that matter (and she knew Arya collected them).

Wordlessly, Arya passed over the piece of narrow paper and Margaery read:

 

_**Revenge** _

_Cersei_

_~~Joffrey~~ _

_~~Coach Sandor~~ _

_~~Mr. Trant~~ _

Margaery looked up at Arya in confusion. Revenge was a pretty harsh word, even though she knew Arya had reasons for everyone on the list.

But before Margaery could pose a question, Arya spoke.

“Last year, Joffrey got arrested for possession of drugs in the school parking lot. An anonymous tip off describing the color and make of his car.”

Margaery remembered that. Joffrey of course got off with nothing but he still had the wrath of his mother to deal with.

“Two months ago, someone let fifteen chickens into Coach Clegane’s office. I heard the mess was god-awful.”

Margaery remember that too. She didn’t think Arya could possibly be behind it…but the facts were kind of sitting in front of her.

“In a week, Mr. Trant’s computer will be checked and they are going to find some rather _inappropriate_ content.”

Margaery’s eyes widened. Mr. Trant did have rather creepy vibes about him but nothing that could absolutely be proven…perhaps Arya knew more.

“What about Cersei?” Margaery asked, noticing the name had yet to be crossed off.

“Still deciding,” Arya shrugged. “I have time though. Don’t worry, but-” Arya snatched her list back and locked eyes with Margaery, “-if you know what is good for you, you won’t do anything that’ll get you on this list. If you get on this list, you have to accept the consequences.”

Margaery nodded. Message deadly clear.

“Well,” Margaery smiled, “since that is over-” Arya nodded in confirmation that the threat was done for now “-why don’t I offer you some help with your list?”

Arya’s smirk turned deadly.

* * *

 

**Sansa**

Margaery watched as Sansa sat beside Margaery looking very puzzled.

“So, correct me if I am wrong but, this Friday we are going out for dinner with Robb and Theon, Sunday we are having _brunch_ with Jon and Ygritte, next Tuesday we are having movie night with Bran and Rickon, and on Wednesday you and Arya are having, and I quote, a ‘working lunch’, care to explain?”

Margaery shrugged before kissing Sansa lightly. “Our talks went well.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hopefully it wasn't too bad. If you liked it and want to see more stuff from me, feel free to come talk or follow me [@youbuggingme on Tumblr](http://youbuggingme.tumblr.com/)


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